⑴ 三个兄弟和一个女的，有一天两个男的要去打架叫第三个男的，但那女的
幽默
两人在玩扑克,他伸出双手说:一对五;她把脚也伸出来说:一对十;他把裤子一脱说:一对蛋;她急得把文胸一扯说:一对尖!他盯着犹豫一会儿说:大!
下班部分是老婆的，上班部分是的，中间部分是情人的；醒着是的，睡着了是老婆的，半梦半醒之间是情人的！
一根链条,最脆弱的一环决定其强度;一只木桶,最短的一片决定其容量;一个人,性格最差的一面决定其发展!一百个优点常毁于一个致命的缺点!
当你一个人空虚寂寞时，铅笔也许是你最好的玩物。你可以用小刀割它，削它，砍它，同时你便可以发泄自己，高声吼着：我杀笔，我杀笔，我杀笔了……
听说你最近很牛，扶你下飞机，给你当司机，麦当娜陪你上楼梯，金喜善给你烤烧鸡，刘德华帮你倒垃圾，连我都要给你发息！
一天收到的：HSS-H。看不懂就去问，克要倒过来念HELLO-ASSHOLE（儿）。
多年前你养了只小狗叫脸，不幸脸夭折了，我养了只小猫叫。三年后你到我家感慨的说：“要是我的脸还在也有这么大了。”
老婆训话时要立正站好，低头忏悔；老婆购物时要勇于付款，义不容辞；老婆化妆时要耐心等待，衷心赞美；老婆给零花钱时含泪感激，省吃俭用。
时候串联，火车异常拥挤，某君趁停车将伸出车窗外大便，车将启动时，列车员巡视时大喊：前方大脸的旅客请注意不要在车床外面吃油条
蚂蚁和大像睡了一宿，第二天大像染病去世了，蚂蚁一边挖坑一边唠叨，就风流一宿，我要给你丫挖一辈子坑
嫂洗澡，弟无意中窗入，嫂义正词严“你这样做对得起你哥吗？”弟羞，欲走，嫂又道“你这样走了对得起你嫂子吗”
家不能不顾，铁子不能不处，漫漫人生路谁不错几步，喝多了我也吐，骑自行车我也上过树，看见美女我也一样迈不动步，这就是男人的人生路
昨日女友，将我抛弃，我心哭泣，悲伤至极，其实并非，因其离去，只恨临走，送我大米，要我回家，养大鸡鸡
年9月28日你被捕了第一天你什么都没招第二天也没招第三天敌人用美人计你招了第四天你还想招可是解放了
我对你仰慕犹如滔滔江水连绵不绝，黄河泛滥一发而不可收拾（我在拉肚子）
大嫂在公共汽车上看到一位男人掉了包烟在板上,对那男人说：同志你烟掉了.那男人回头瞪着大嫂说:你才阉掉了.
一农村干部到城里出差，早上到宾馆餐厅吃早餐，坐下就向服务小姐说：“小姐，我要馍馍、”小姐怒斥“流氓”
谜语上面上面下面下面，左面左面右面右面，不是不是正是正是，重点重点轻点轻点，舒服舒服。（谜底：抓痒）
碰见9说走两步就走两步练什么倒立啊，0碰见8说：胖就胖还系什么裤腰带啊，7碰见2说，行了，别跪着了再跪也不嫁给你，2碰见5说，几天没见隆胸了？
考试如此多焦，引无数考生尽通宵。惜秦皇汉武，胆子太小，唐宗宋祖，不得不抄。一代天骄，成吉思汗，最后都把白卷交。
馒头和面条打架结果馒头被打哭了就回家把花卷包子叫来去找面条结果是方便面开门馒头说小样把头烫了就不认识你了照打
万水千山总是情，请我吃饭行不行。人间既有真情在，我请你时你不在。
茅坑门联：天下英雄豪杰，到此低头屈膝；世间贞女节妇，进来解带宽裙；横批：天地正气。
上联：我爱的人名花有主；下联：爱我的人惨不睹；横批：命苦。
某校男女厕所相邻，一女生如厕未带纸，忽风隔壁传来一纸，女生大惊：“是谁？”男生低沉有力答：“雷锋”。
跳楼须知:痛快到七楼,喘气到六楼,挣扎到五楼,残废到四楼,住院到三楼,吓人到二楼,看热闹到一楼.
新四项基本原则之女人篇：老婆基本靠哄，情人基本要宠，小姐基本要钱，小蜜基本要权！
爱一个人好难！爱两个人好玩！爱三个人好烦！爱四个人扯蛋！爱五个人翻船！爱六个人彻底玩完！
家里有个作饭的；办公室里有个好看的；身边有个犯贱的；远方有个思念的。
从前，有一对非常恩爱的夫妻，男的叫我爱你，女的叫我不爱你。一天上山女的不小心掉下了山崖。请问剩下的男的叫什么？
投保：男朋友是准客户，老公是客户，结婚是签单，离婚是退保，再婚是续保，找老二是加保
你有点灵气，我有点傻气；你有点秀气，我有点土气；你有点香气，我有点烟气；如果你生气，我不会发脾气
你再惹我，我就会在经济上封锁你，上孤立你，精神上折磨你，肉体上摧残你，生活中遗弃你
鸡生的叫鸡蛋，鸭生的叫鸭蛋，会炸的叫；读信息的是，笑的是蠢蛋；生气是笨蛋！
某女泳衣破于私处取一牌挡众笑。女惑看：此深2米，急换牌众仍笑，又看牌：男性专用道。再换众大笑牌写：此不通走后门
外国人的长，中国人的短；太监曾经拥有过，和尚有的但是不能用。打一你每天都要用的东西。（答案：名字）
人家捞，你不捞，老婆说你是草包；人家赌，你不赌，背后说你二百五；人家嫖，你不嫖，大伙一起造你谣。
男人不醉,女人没小费;女人不醉,男人没机会;男人女人都不醉,宾馆没人睡。
⑵ 两年前欧美一个特别豪华的MV 男主角是黑人 里面有加长越野车 车里面有美女 和豪宅 求这个MV的名字
哈哈哈，我知道是什么歌了```MV里那车是加长的悍马H1，美国专用军车，有钱人开PARTYY,军人打仗用的，他的车是konig公司设计的
不过黑人音乐MV里豪宅，跑车，美女永远是主题
【高清】Lil Wayne - Lollipop
http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XMTE1ODU3NTgw.html
Lil' Wayne和Static Major合作的这首Lollipop，不幸的是，Static Major在参与录制这首单曲的MTV之后不久，便在一家小医院的手术事故中丧生。Static Major来自肯塔基州，他的本名叫Stephen Garrett，去世时不过34岁。
翻译:
uh huh...no homo (YOUNG MULA BABY)
UH HUH 不要搞同性恋
i say he so sweet make her wanna lick the wrapper
我说他好甜，搞得她想添 包装纸
so i let her lick da rapper.
所以我让她来添我这个饶舌歌手
she lick lick lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
她添，添，添我，就像添个棒棒糖
she she lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
她她添我就像个棒棒糖
she lick lick lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
她添，添，添我，就像添个棒棒糖
she she lick me like a lollipop
她她添我就像个棒棒糖
shawty wanna thug
性感小女生喜欢野男人
bottles in da club
舞厅里的酒瓶
shawty wanna hump
小不点儿想要跳舞
u know i like to touch ya lovely lady lumps
你知道我喜欢碰你可爱的屁股
(she lick me lick a lollipop)
她添我就像个棒棒糖
shawty wanna thug
性感小女生喜欢野男人
bottles in da club
舞厅里的酒瓶
shawty wanna hump
小不点儿想要跳舞
you know i like to touch ya lovely lady lumps
你知道我喜欢碰你可爱的屁股
ok lil mama had a swagga like mine
ok, 小女孩像我一样有本事
she even wear her hair down her back like mine
她和我一样把头发放下来
i make her feel right when its wrong like lyin
我教她说谎，错也变对
man she aint never had a luv like mine
她从来没有像我一样的爱
but man i aint never seen a ass like hers
我也从来没有看过像她这样的屁股
dat pussy in my mouth had me lost for words..
她的pussy(这个不用翻译了吧）在我嘴里，我变得无语
so i told her back it up like burp burp
所以我叫她退后让我喘口气。BURP是打嗝的意思
and i made dat ass jump like jurp jurp..
我让她的屁股跳起来
and dats when she
然后她就
she lick lick lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
她添添添我就像个棒棒糖
she she lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
她她添我就像个棒棒糖
she lick lick lick me like a lollipop (yeah)
她添添添我就像个棒棒糖
shawty wanna thug
性感小女生喜欢野男人
bottles in da club
舞厅里的酒瓶
shawty wanna hump
小不点儿想要跳舞
u know i like to touch ya lovely lady lumps
你知道我喜欢碰你可爱的屁股
(she lick me lick a lollipop)
她添我就像个棒棒糖
shawty wanna thug
性感小女生喜欢野男人
bottles in da club
舞厅里的酒瓶
shawty wanna hump
you know i like to touch ya lovely lady lumps
你知道我喜欢碰你可爱的屁股
⑶ 阳光小美女中在台上跳舞时的背景音乐叫什么名字
《super freak》--Gza
艺人： The Genius
语种： 英语
唱片公司： Cold Chillin
发行时间： 1990年01月01日
专辑类别： 录音室专辑
所属专辑：Words From the Genius
歌词：Superfreak
I hopped on the train and cold clocked a chick
Who looked good as hell but she appeared to be sick
I would say she had to look as if she swallowed a worm
Then again she could've swallowed several ounces of sperm
Giving me the eye as if I was the right antidote
So I decided to swing a smooth episode
While the train stopped at Grand Central turn
Before I knew her name I was massaging her perm
I said, "My you look drunk, have you been drinkin alcohol?"
You got a fever here's an Extra Strength Tylenol
She said, "Great a comedian, comic"
She leaned on me, I said, "Please don't vomit!"
She said, "I'm not I just need some rest"
I said, "A few more stops, The Genius house is best"
Got to my rest, her whole attitude change
But deep inside, she seemed sexually strange
Went in the room and she flopped on the bed
With wild-ass thoughts inside her headachish head
I went in the kitchen to prepare some food
When I came back in she was completely nude
I know it sounds weak but believe it or not
That the fever in her head ran straight to her twat
She was burning! Burning up out
It took more, than firemen, to put that out
And yo, I was hard, just as hard as a rock
That I can hit a home run, with my cock
She said, "Let me show you what we do uptown
I huff and I puff till I blow your balls down"
Wild as a wolf from off Wilderness Ave
She said, "My what a great big ahhh! you have"
I started dripping and dripping in consecutive terms
I know we must save water but that does not include sperm
Did you ever know a girlie who just loves to switch
From a Part Time Lover to a Part Time Bitch
While she's loving part time, she's riding on mine
She says, "I love you long as you keep making me feel fine!"
In her behind, vagina, or heated climax
That I would sew, control, finger then wax
Now she's swingin so low yo she flex like wrecks
Cuz she can set records on oral sex
There's no lie what I said, she lives in the bed
If she got married, she'd be a worn out newlywed
And if she heard these words yo she would not cry
Because sperm, the only damn tears in her eye
Her drip-drop face is the one I painted
Just stared in her eyes while she damn near fainted
As she choked, goggled, then spit up
Cuz cream, was flowing, all over her cup
On the bathroom floor cuz her parents were home
And I just could-n't tolerate her moans and groans
"Genius, oh Genius, oh rock me so hard!
Cuz I don't want to stop, I love you God!"
But there's one thing she could never erase
That the thing she really wanted just sprayed in her face
So she regret, she ever swung low before
But this little hot bitch comes swingin for more
It used to be one, now it's five fingers of death
That rips her insides, as she gasp for breath
To say, "I love you! I love you! Forever so!
I'm getting hot getting hot let me blow let me blow"
What she thought was love, turned out to be lust
That made her live by the laws, in sex we trust
⑷ mm是什么
指可爱美丽的小女人，MM是眉眉拼音的缩写